The Fork

This poem called The Fork was written as I sat by the nagahela (i can't spell it) river in North Carolina. The river had many boats floating along it. Some places were smooth and quiet..and others had very fast rapids. I hope you like it.

The Fork

Gliding slowly down the quiet water,
Moving along with the current of life
Settled calmly in the open air
Green leaves and flowers slide silently by
Birds present a concert of song
Never-ending along the way

Paddle still, used only to gently guide the way
Past rocks and trees, providing power
When the current is weak and waves small
Providing direction when unbidden movements arrive,
Strong currents dictate the way and
Waves push toward danger and uncertainty

River runs clear when the fork appears
View hidden by bends and trees
Left or right---decision looms
Each path a different journey, both unseen, unknown
Random choice or deliberate action
Push the bow and journey on

The way may be smooth, wide paths free of rocks and waves
Tree-lined with still waters, punctuated by the shouts
Of song birds, cracks of slight feet
On dry branches and long dead leaves
Time made for reflection and thought
Finding the center and seeing the way floating along

The way may be rough, narrow and rock filled
Waves reach high with frothy force, hiding dangers below
The beating of water on the sides drown out the
Songs of forest, the strong heartbeat pounding
Darting sights side to side, discerning the danger
Seeking safety and peace amidst the rapids

We seek to take the easy fork, avoid the pain
Yet amidst the pain is growth, strength reborn
along the rapids, there is wisdom, experience acquired
confidence and empathy renewed and nurtured
even as the calm path renews and refreshes
focuses and restores, the rapids of life breeds empathy

seek both in the path of life
the rough and the smooth, the easy and the hard
for in the full journey is the whole of life’s experiences

Another year

Another year is nearly over. One 1/2 day left, then I walk away. I will be looking for another place to pass on what i know...another place to give of myself. Even though I will probably not find what i am looking for, i will search. In every part of our life, we search and seek...

Making sure we give ourselves permission to live and grow and feel and hurt and be angry is the hardest part of the search....and the most important..

Affirmations that help me:

The world is ruled by letting things take it's course
We would never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world
Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind.
Water which is too pure has no fish.
Let the waters settle. You will see stars and moon mirrored in your Being.
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.
Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

I hope they help you. :-)

Life is a circle

So..life comes around again....and where do we go from there?

Spring’s Ascent

cold wind whips over
the barren field
not even bare trees
stop it’s bitter bite

brown and grey cover
the landscape
testament to the
fading white blanket

never ending darkness
hangs on like the
lone climber up the
sheer rock face

not wanting to relent
to the oncoming light
the slow climbing
sun warming it’s path

yet warmth, green
cannot be halted
rising from deep within
pushing aside that which is dormant

tentative at first, seeking
safe warm and sun
poking first above the surface
barely daring to seek it’s light

warmth and light feed the new
passion, struggling to take root
safe in the wrapping of love,
yet tender and fragile

under the gentle touch
of water and warmth
passion grows, unseen
digging deep into the soul

until the last holds of
the dark day relent
releasing the power
of passion to burst
through for all to see and share

Wounded Butterfly

delicate wings, lithe body
resting on the edge
folding, unfolding in the
warmth of the sun

breezes cool the heat
belie the coming storm
resting and waiting
in a masquarde of safety

sudden change, unseen and swift
winds tearing at the
peaceful rest
rain pelting and ripping

butterfly falls, unable to
find the edge again,
useless wings, torn and shredded
blinded and afraid

finally landing on the
hard ground, cold
wet, mud-covered
and in pain

safety gone,
warmth turned to cold
looking up into the
darkness of night

strength fades
confidence wanes
deep pain invades
the once-full heart

time must pass
storm must run
its course and move away,
to find another

time ticks slowly
never-ending minutes
turn into days and nights
and days again

Things just keep changing

So..why is it that the more things change...the less they change? I had a job interview last week....thought it went really well. They kept my portfolio, kept me in the interview for nearly an hour...and yet...still no word on what is happening.
Things changed over night for me...and I can't seem to get my head wrapped around it...
and I can't get my balance. I am falling...clawing to stop myself...and not finding anything to grab onto...finding nothing that looks normal.
The holes here are huge...gaping and raw.... I used to be dented....now.....i can't even describe it.. I just wish...I could get something normal back...

Today is the last day

Hi
Today is the last day for now for Project Write. I feel a little on the outside of this group. I don't have a classroom. I don't have the same group of kids. I just have everyone. I don't have specific time for reading or writing. I don't have the support of editing time or even a specific curriculum. I can do the technology though. I just need the opportunity. Man I wish schools thought with more than just their pocketbooks. I wish that kids were really the focus and the most important thing.

I just want to do my job...to the best of my ability...for the kids..

New Directions

So... life always seems to take new directions. I just don't understand why they always have to be so hard. Why is it that you can do all things correctly, or for the right reasons....and still be the one facing the consequences?

I found this aquarium...and put it on my home page for iGoogle. Trying to remind myself to just slow down....breathe.....and focus on the things i can..

we'll see how it works.

SL and Free Time

So, I have long wondered about the fascination my friends had with WOW online and other things they do regularly. Then I found Second Life. I originally went to SL in search of things related to my job as a teacher. I joined some education groups and then found the writers. I have become much more prolific in my writing due to the interest shown in the fact that my "avatar" has the title of poet. Now I have a social network of friends...and understand much more the draw that having that "virtual world" can have on your real life. Free time is slim in my world these days, but having others around that I feel I know makes it much easier to just spend time there.

Second Life

I have created a second life. Like I don't have enough to do in my first life. So..Arwen was created in Oyster Bay. She's a red head with Blue eyes. She has a house, an Island, and can ballroom dance. The really good news for me...is that I found my poetry voice again. I hadn't used it in so long. I had forgotten how much I really wanted to write.

Lounging on my beach...just to get away sometimes.

Guess we need to read it all

How often do we get an email and scan for important words? I got three emails this week, and I only half read all of them. Why is that? It is because I think they are short messages, not "real" letters, I can just skim them. What happens when I skim? I miss things...important things like times and directions. I miss little things like who sent the email or a date. I miss other things too...like I love you, I miss you or thanks. Today I thought I had missed an important thing...and turns out...I didn't. That was nice to see.

Lonely

Project WRITE is a 4 county grant project to help teachers be better teachers of writing. I will be here all weekend. It means I will not be with my family or those close to me. The teachers here are great. I am struggling with being lonely and alone and surrounded by interesting people. The good news for me is that we have access to technology, so I can contact those I need to. I am just tired of being lonely. :-( Sometimes I just feel like this will go on forever.

Did you know?

I have now seen this video at least twice in the past 3 days at education meetings. The scariest thing to me is that it's educators looking at info that we know intuitively, while the people who should be viewing this to make decision s about education, testing and funding are not.
Wonder if they will

Did you know?

Long long days.................................

Today is a release of another Magic expansion. For me that means that the day that began at 6:15 am will not end until close to that same time the next day. I have never been very good at staying up for 24 hours. Now that I am on the wrong side of 40...i'm even worse at it. Why is it that we don't think we are ever as old as we are, or as young as we are? I have been thinking about my grandfather lately. He died last year and it was among the saddest things I have been through. He had a stroke. By the time I got there, he was for all intents and purposes gone. I miss him now so much. Saying good bye just stinks.........

Good Bye Grandpa.

I love you...and miss you.

Pleasing everyone

I was pretty sure that the saying was that you couldn't please all of the people all of the time....but damn...I would just like to please a few of the people most of the time. Why does it seem that the more I do, the less it seems to matter. I send missing things to people...and no one even says thanks.. I drive all over heck to get people where they need /WANT to go...and it's not enough.
I work all day, and still spend hours trying to get just one more thing done....and it's not enough.

It's just never enough...

Just makes me sad.

Fighting a losing battle

So...everyone is sick at work. They are all coughing, sneezing, and running a fever. One of the guys at the store has mono....and I worked alongside him for 9 hours last weekend....so should I be very surprised when I have a headache for 4 days and am exhausted. I wanted so much to have today off to just sleep and rest....

Phone rings at 9am...it's the High school....Ben tried to be the goalie at soccer for gym with his thumb...

3 hours later and a splint on his right hand (at least he's left handed).... I get back home.

Now I'm listing ebay...and still exhausted...maybe Fri..........................

I really want to win this one.....really I do

Busy Times

So.......now I have finished my first week on my new schedule...and my new paycheck. It's amazing to me how frugal I have been for the past 3 years. I have worked so hard on my new degree that it is finally paying off. I can work less hours and still be okay financially. The only issue is only having 35 minutes with each class. I just get everyone started...and they have to stop.


So...how do you keep 20 five year olds busy for 35 minutes....when they have little or no fine motor control. It's a tall order.

I was excited to read the guidelines for students and technology though....I teach almost all the skills they need to have already. :)





Now I just need to take a deep breath...focus on each task one at a time.... and not completely flip out.



RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

School has started

So...I started in the new year last week. Man it was nice to not have to get up early to drive 45 min to work, except I had to get up early to drive to GR. Mom was not doing well. Scary stuff when your parent gets sick. Even scarier when you are an only child. Not sure how I am handling this whole getting older thing. I can handle the kids getting older. I actually like the idea of them being on their own and doing their own things. But the idea of my parents getting older....is just not sitting too well with me.

Anyone else??

So...someone told me about the new site that tells you what percentage of the world you have seen. I would love to see where my kids have been. My son has traveled to so many countries its unbelievable. I am happy to say though that I have been to 74% of the US. Since I am making a trip to the great NW this coming fall (gotta check out that new Portland Trail Blazer dance group), I am going to add at least 3 more states to the mix. Now I just have to figure out how to figure out getting to Hawaii........................

Always dreaming.



create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Man it's hot!!!!

Okay, so I am going to work very hard at keeping up with this. I am struggling a bit with time management. I am supposed to turn in my proposal on my master's capstone, turn in my schedule for the next school year. and keep up with both Bandai, Decipher and RIW. I want to figure out how to get to Chi-Town next weekend. It would be fun to work at con without being in charge. I am excited about having 19 people confirmed to work the Bandai Booth at Gen Con. :-) Maybe I am finally getting this right.

My son has moved in with me now. I have been on my own at home for the past 2 years. It's hard to adjust to being home when he is. I'll get it right. Josh comes home in 3 weeks and I am so excite.

Anyway...just an update from me. :-)

I took this outside RIW. We have furry friends out back.

Last one..Flash

Wow...ever tried to type with a partial cast on...I thought the fact that it was my left hand would be cool...but nope..anyway...final blog try..

• Part 1: How hard is it to pick up & run with a new program like Flash that has a relatively steep learning curve? Why do you think that?

I think it is not effective to try and pick up and run a progam like flash on the fly. I think that it leads to frustration...and not wanting to continue. I am the geek at my school and I struggled here. You need to want to figure it out. Many of my colleagues will not want to spend the time, so they will miss the benefits. Programs like this would benefit from a tutorial built in.

• Part 2: Do you think most people need to have an expensive program (like Flash), when there are other programs that are free/much cheaper that do similar things but are more simplified (have fewer features)? When is it necessary to have the higher-end programs? When is it just spending more time to add bells & whistles?

I think it depends on the focus and outcomes wanted with these programs. Things like morphing programs need the complexity of flash...while most regular joes..can do just fine without all the bells and whistles. If you are using the program to sell something, or make a more professional presentation...you probably need the depth of the higher end programs.

arm hurts...time to stop